And my head I'd be scratchin' While my thoughts were busy hatchin' If I only had a brain —“If I Only Had A Brain,” Wizard of Oz, 1939 With apologies to the late Ray Bolger, the sinuous ...

Maybe the real theme song for the mainstream media should be “If I Only Had a Conscience.” But that would just go over their heads anyway, so why bother?

The tune was a time-honored, and fitting, classic from “The Wizard of Oz”: the Scarecrow’s seminal hit, “If I Only Had a Brain.” Standing bedside, Burnell’s wife, Anne, sang along.