FITNESS | SPORT | COMEDY on Instagram: "Bro said he couldn’t hang out, and I already know my dude’s trapped like he’s doing time in her feelings pen. She got him locked in the bedroom like it’s Rikers Island, with lavender candles and soft music on repeat. Nah, fam, you’re supposed to be free, but she’s got you on lockdown, 24-hour surveillance. You can’t breathe, can’t move, can’t even laugh at memes without approval. You send that “sorry, guys, maybe next time” text at 7 pm, and we feel the qu