Death is surreal. Watching my once-strong, 35-year-old husband die was gut-wrenching. I thought I was prepared for what it would look like or feel like, but I wasn’t. I imagined something more peaceful. But when you’re deeply loved, hospice isn’t a quiet place. There was constant care, medical decisions, and the heavy logistics of managing someone in a vegetative state. The still moments were rare. I thought I’d get to spend more time with Ryan before he passed. But with a newborn, a toddler, an
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I miss the girl I was prior to my husband’s accident and death. And I’ve had to grieve the girl I was and the person I can never be again. A life altering loss like the loss of a spouse takes away your innocence. It takes away the part of yourself that feels like your world is safe. It takes away your ability to feel happiness without also feeling pain. I used to be softer and gentler. The trauma I went through has hardened me in some ways. When I look in the mirror now, I see someone different
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